


I Sing of Arm(s) and the Man

by lezgoisay



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Cum Play, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, Hand Jobs, M/M, Makeup Sex, Name-Calling, Past Violence, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 22:42:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11541939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lezgoisay/pseuds/lezgoisay
Summary: Soon -- in fact, sooner than Steve had dared to hope -- he has Bucky back in his arms and in his bed. And everything's great again. Life is good.So it's kind of surprising how fast it all goes to shit. Because in reality, of course, all is not well. Steve and Bucky still have a huge unspoken barrier between them.That goddamn cybernetic arm.





	I Sing of Arm(s) and the Man

Steve's a fucking saint, he really is.

When Bucky leaves his Winter Soldier days behind, Steve does everything he can to assist Buck's rehabilitation and re-entry into a normalized life. He provides a stable home environment with as much quiet routine as possible, so Bucky can focus completely on his intensive therapy with SHIELD's psychiatrists. As Bucky fights against his mental and emotional trauma, Steve works hard to be patient and supportive throughout the long, long months of Bucky's mood swings, depression, rage, confusion and grief.

And while Bucky struggles to regain his memory and equilibrium, Steve is careful to place absolutely no expectations on him about their own relationship. He's just happy to have Bucky, any version of Bucky, back in his life. Steve doesn't force any of his own memories on him but waits until Buck remembers their past on his own. As Bucky heals, he starts to rediscover his love for Steve and their old relationship slowly begins to resume.

Soon -- in fact, sooner than Steve had dared to hope -- he has Bucky back in his arms and in his bed. And everything's great again. Life is good. 

So it's kind of surprising how fast it all goes to shit. Because in reality, of course, all is not well. Steve and Bucky still have a huge unspoken barrier between them.

That goddamn cybernetic arm.

It's clear that Bucky doesn't want to touch Steve with it and goes out of his way to avoid doing so. In bed, Buck always tries to hold his left arm against his side or behind his back as much as possible. During sex, he'll only touch Steve with his human hand, as if he expects Steve to recoil in horror if his cybernetic arm so much as brushes against him.

Bucky's fear that Steve finds his silver arm repulsive just adds to Steve's sense of guilt about not preventing Bucky's fall in the first place. Buck wouldn't even have a cybernetic arm if it weren't for Steve's own failure, he knows that.

So Steve resolves to put Bucky's fear to rest.

One night on the couch, while kissing along Bucky's jawline, Steve deliberately starts to trail kisses down Bucky's neck and along his left collarbone until he reaches the shoulder with the inset red star. Steve starts kissing his shoulder and rubbing his cheek on Buck's silver bicep like an affectionate cat, entwining his fingers with Bucky's metal ones.

Bucky abruptly pushes him off and stands up.

"Don't fucking do that."

"Why not, Buck? I'm attracted to you, to all of you."

"Not to my arm. No one's attracted to a weapon. It's disgusting -- don't be such a freak."

Bucky starts to pace back and forth between the couch and window, his metal fist clenched, his face closed and angry.

"It's not a weapon to me, Bucky."

"Oh, no? What about that time I almost beat you to death with this arm? And didn't I nearly kill you by choking you with this hand? Twice? What kind of sick fucking masochist are you to want to kiss and fondle it now?"

Steve tries to let Bucky's caustic judgmental language roll off him. Captain America always handles verbal abuse by behaving coolly and stoically, not by striking back or lashing out.

But fuck Captain America, Steve is mad.

After all those months of unfailing patience and understanding, something in Steve suddenly snaps. He's angry at Bucky, really angry, more angry than he has been since Bucky reappeared in his life.

"Are you saying that I can only ever be a victim around your goddamn metal arm, Barnes?"

"Oh, so you have different memories about it than I do?"

"Of course not, but maybe, just maybe, I want some different and better experiences to replace those memories of you trying to kill me with it, have you ever thought of that?"

Steve has to make a visible effort to get his anger under control. But Bucky is still pacing, still furious, ready to explode.

"Fuck you, Rogers, and fuck whatever it is that you want."

"Fuck you too, Barnes. And here's exactly what I want, you selfish bastard -- I want to feel both your arms around me for once. I want to feel you holding me like in the old days. I want your fucking left arm touching me with love and desire for a change, giving me pleasure like you used to. I don't want more of this bullshit that you're putting me through!"

All Steve sees is a silver blur as Bucky pulls his cybernetic fist back, ready to jackhammer Steve's face like he did on the Helicarrier. Steve braces himself but no follow-through materializes. He just hears the door slam and then Bucky is gone.

There's no word from Buck the next day.

Or the following day.

Or the day after that.

Maybe he'll never come back, Steve thinks. Maybe he's on the run again, already returned to a feral existence where no one will ever find him. Steve works himself into a lather of guilt and regret but doesn't dare leave the apartment in case Bucky comes back while he's out. It's Steve's turn to pace now.

Then, on the fourth day, Steve hears the faint sound of a key in the lock. In a flash, Steve makes it to the couch, grabs a book, puts his feet up and is nonchalantly paging through the book when Bucky comes through the front door.

"Oh, you're home?" Steve says evenly.

"Yeah."

"Where did you go?"

"Sam's. He let me crash on his couch. But he got tired of feeding me and listening to me bitch, so he threw me out this morning. Told me to go home and apologize to you because I was being an asshole."

Bucky stands in front of the couch, his head down, long dark hair obscuring his shadowed face. Then slowly, he holds out his left hand.

When Steve takes it, Bucky pulls him up off the couch into his arms. Into both his arms. Hesitantly at first and then with more confidence, Bucky strokes Steve's cheek with the back of his metal fingers.

"I'm sorry, punk. I love you and you deserve better than my bullshit."

"I'm just as sorry, Buck. I shouldn't have lost my temper. I love you too."

Steve turns his head slightly to kiss Bucky's silver knuckles. Then Steve presses himself against Bucky's body, letting him feel that he's already hard.

"See how turned on you and your arm make me?"

Bucky laughs, kisses him and makes the plates of his cybernetic arm whirr softly as he reaches down to grasp Steve's dick through his jeans. They leave a trail of clothes behind them on the way to the bedroom.

Bucky sits on the side of the bed with Steve standing in front of him. Steve runs his hands up and down both of Bucky's arms. Buck still looks uncomfortable with having his cybernetic arm caressed but is clearly making a major effort to overcome it.

Bucky gently cups Steve's balls with his silver hand. "Mmm, makes me think of plums in Bucharest," he says.

"What?"

"Nothing. Come and sit on my knee, babydoll, like you used to back in the old days."

"I dunno if that's a good idea, Bucky. I was a lot smaller and lighter then."

Bucky pats his right knee. "Don't worry about it -- I have super soldier thighs now, you know." He squeezes some lube into his left palm.

So Steve sits and twines his arm around Bucky's neck, grasping his metal shoulder for support. Bucky puts his right arm around Steve's waist.

"Let's see how this feels," Bucky says as he puts his silver hand around the base of Steve's hard dick. He slides up and down the shaft to the bottom of Steve's foreskin, causing it to move in sync as well. With every stroke, Steve's precum-slicked cockhead appears out of his foreskin and then disappears back inside.

The sensation of Bucky's cybernetic hand makes Steve gasp. He's taken aback by the smoothness of the metal fingers, the lack of human warmth in the touch. It's kind of like being jerked off by a machine -- but by a machine that he loves, so he smiles at Bucky and says, "Yeah, that feels so good! Make me come for you, Buck, make me come hard."

Steve watches as Bucky pumps his cock. He starts to make little panting noises to match Bucky's rhythm, moving on to small moans in the back of his throat and finally to "oh. Oh. OH" with every stroke.

"I love hearing you make noise, sweetheart, yeah, the louder, the better! Not like in the old days, when we always had to be so fucking quiet."

Steve clutches Bucky's shoulder, writhing on his knee. Steve throws his head back and yells out Buck's name when he comes. They're both breathing hard and laughing at the same time.

Steve lifts Bucky's cybernetic hand to his mouth. Never taking his eyes from Bucky's, Steve slowly licks his cum off Bucky's silver fingers one by one and then kisses him deep.

And so, to the great relief of both, everything is well between them again. Or almost everything. There's actually one remaining issue though.

Still holding Steve on his knee, Bucky finally confesses:

"You really are incredibly heavier than you used to be, babydoll. I gotta ask you to stand up now, my leg is asleep and it's fucking killing me."

**Author's Note:**

> The title for this fic comes from Virgil's Aeneid (translation by A.S. Kline) --
> 
> "I sing of arms and the man, he who, exiled by fate, first came from the coast of Troy . . . hurled about endlessly by land and sea, by the will of the gods, by cruel Juno’s remorseless anger, long suffering also in war . . . . Muse, tell me the cause: how was she offended in her divinity, how was she grieved, the Queen of Heaven, to drive a man, noted for virtue, to endure such dangers, to face so many trials? Can there be such anger in the minds of the gods?"


End file.
